Professor's advice to parents: Lighten up, enjoy the game

This is a great article from a US newspaper called The Olympian...


Professor's advice to parents: Lighten up, enjoy the game

Gail Wood
The Olympian

How does something as simple as a youth sports event, with children playing and parents watching, suddenly turn violent?

Ronald Smith, a professor of psychology at the University of Washington who has written several books on the subject, wonders if we're taking kids' sports too seriously.

"When adults begin to consider winning and personal glory for their child more important than the other benefits of sports, then we have the potential to have a fight," Smith said.

More than 2,000 kids ages 7 to 14 participate in youth football in the South Sound.

"What's happened is youth sports has been taken over by adults and has become highly structured experiences," Smith said. "Some adult values, which are more appropriate to a professional model than a developmental model, have come to the forefront."

According to Smith's research, the actual incidents of violence in youth sports is only a small percent.

"All it takes is a couple," Smith said. "They make it so miserable for the coaches that we're finding at the youth sports level that 25 percent of coaches are saying they're seriously considering not coaching any more because of parents."

Mary Coppin, Lacey Parks and Recreation's supervisor, said parents who end up fighting at their kids' sporting events have lost perspective and are overly protective.

"Mostly, they fight because they love their children," Coppin said. "Also, I think what's happened here is the failure to nip it in the bud."

Coppin said outbursts could be avoided if someone had intervened.

"People take it very personal when something is happening to their kids," Coppin said.

A couple of decades ago, Coppin said parents rarely came to their child's games.

"Now, if you don't go, you're considered to be a bad parent," Coppin said.

Smith said often the underlying cause of violence at kids' games is the parents' quest for college scholarships.

"We're finding that some of the biggest problems occurred in women's sports, which traditionally had lesser kinds of these problems," Smith said.

In Smith's book, "Coaches Who Never Lose," he provides guidelines from more than 25 years of research on coaching behaviors and how they affect kids.

Smith's advice to parents is simple.

"You're not there to be another coach," he said. "You need to relinquish your child to the adult supervision."